Amazed

It never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is to point fingers at another culture in regards to areas of spiritual attack. Or, on the flip side, how much more personal and real a faith in Jesus Christ can be. It has been mentioned before, but I can’t help return to it, no matter where you go you will often see those who have much and those who have next to nothing. The north American dream of being happy when we have the next best thing or the newest gadget has so distorted our way of thinking, to such a degree that when we step outside our cozy lives and see people living with nothing but the clothes on their back we are shocked that they could have even the smallest amount of joy in their lives.

The idea mentioned in Luke 12: 15 is so contrary to the world’s way of thinking in many ways, that “a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions”. One of the most encouraging things that comes along with any journey outside the wealthy western mindset is the real and tangible joy that is shown among people - often total strangers - just because they share the most basic, yet incredible, of gifts, that is life!

But the rest of the world has become so bent on individualism, no longer thinking to share in the joy of simply being. There is so much blindness in that kind of pride. We neglect the ones who are in need, we forget the ones who have given so much of themselves because we like to think we made it on our own. I apologize if this inclusive-type language is throwing you off, maybe these things are more particular to me, maybe not.

And it is not just about the materialistic side of life, so many of us who call ourselves people of faith fall back on the same way of thinking. We call out to God in the hard times when the only option we have is to lean on Him. Then, after He has seen us faithfully through, we turn our backs on Him and try again to do it on our own. Inevitably this only leads us back to a place where our only option is to again call out to God. And in a strange sort of way, thank you Lord for those times, as painful and awful as they can be, for you use them to remind us of a very important lesson. We need you. Truly, we do. But I pray that cycle would be broken! That it does not take some terrible event to make a change for the better, rather that a change would be made simply for the joy of being closer to Christ!

We become blind to sins of habit, blind to temptations, blind to addictions, blind to envy, blind to pride. That pride, which keeps us from acknowledging our weaknesses and our needs, is so lethal. God would you root out the pride from among us, show me where my pride is keeping me from being all of who you want me to be!

God truly uses those who put themselves in a place to be used. Those who humble themselves and allow God to bring them through times of testing and trials, of painful rebuilding - when the pain of guilt and sin, and our desperate helplessness without God become so evidently clear that it can not be ignored, hidden or forgotten. Miracles can happen when people are willing to get to that place with Jesus. People are able to speak into the lives of friends and loved ones - not with fancy words or a prepared speech, but through daily actions in the smallest of things; broken relationships can be mended when we are able to put our hurt and indignation - our pride - out of the way and take that first step of reconciliation. Circumstances that would cause a great deal of fear and unrest in many people can be faced with a sure confidence that there is one who is above anything we may be facing, one who will see us through when we lean on and call out to Him. Personal brokenness, and darkness at the inner parts of our lives can burst with light and healing when we seek help, when we get over ourselves and acknowledge the fact that we can not do this life alone, that is not how we were created. We were created in the image of God who is the perfect image of real community, the Trinity.

Pride is about so much more than the physical things. There is spiritual pride - that thing that keeps us from reaching for help when we know we need it. There is a spiritual side to many things which many of us never really think about. Gluttony, envy, pride - and the rest of them; the fact that many of us never think about these things in these ways is part of what keeps us blind from the ways God wants to change us, to shape us and make us more into the selves He wants us to be.

These ideas and thoughts are not unique to myself, I have done a good deal of reading in the past year that has opened my eyes to a great deal of need and incompleteness in myself - without having faced those issues and dealt with them, rather than run from them and sweep them under the rug all over again, I don’t know where I would be now. Physically I would likely still be here in South Africa for the semester, but emotionally and spiritually I would be in such a different place. In the past, just like everyone else out there, I have struggled with sins that seemed routine, habits that I never really acknowledged as such. Things that would make me feel bad, plague my conscience for a while, then I would turn away - not dealing with it - and go on my way, not God’s way - which includes dealing with and shedding light on those dark areas.

Last semester it was a theme on campus to acknowledge those dark areas, it got very uncomfortable and I could not ignore it any more. No matter how far down you are able to burry something, it is never deep enough, through the eroding force of time and circumstances it will come up again. The only way through it is to deal with it head on. Something we are not meant to do alone.

Wondering why or even how God could continue to seek after such a lost and foolish people, struggling with how I could deal with the fact that I am prone to fall over and over again, so many other things were thoughts that took over my mind for the better part of a month. I don’t have the answers, but I know that God is above it all. The fact that His love is so big that it covers over a multitude of sins is staggering. But it is not just about hiding those sins. He sheds the light on them, and it is often painful, but it is so important in becoming the self that God has in mind for each of us to be. There is no other way.

Let me be the absolute last to say that I have any kind of majority of this walk with Christ figured out, because if there is one thing I have been made so sure of in the last year it is that I really don’t have a clue. But one thing I do know, God will not just do it all for us, we need to take the step of accepting His help. I do not know what that might look like for other people, but for me it was getting others in on my own struggles, having accountability, maybe thats what others are needing. Maybe it is something else, I promise God has set the door open wide for us all and now we must walk through it. Something that was said in church here the other day is bouncing through my mind, we must position ourselves to be healed, to accept what God is doing. This is a two way dance, not a spectator sport. We must be involved, and when we refuse to do something we are actively choosing to walk the other way. Yes, it can be hard; No, I don’t know the specifics of every person out there; Yes, it is something I did for a long time; and no, I would not trade away any bit of pain and discomfort that came with the process. It is so worth it.

If you can sense God calling you to a new way of being, do not ignore it! My pleading heart hopes that you would embrace it! Yes it will be uncomfortable; No, it is not going to be the easy way. The easy way is the way of the world, not of God. God’s way is more beneficial than any other out there. When you walk in His way, no matter how much it may seem so, you will NEVER walk alone. Don’t let ignorance and pride keep you from being the best possible you that you could ever be. Sin can be fun, easy, no big deal right? Wrong. Is that the argument you would try and make to God if you died in the next moment and had to answer for yourself? None of us are promised a tomorrow on this earth as we are, I do not know when my time in the flesh will end, the thing is to be ready all the time! Please hear me, I am so far from anything close to perfection, I have so far to go, but these are things God has put on my heart and maybe it is so that someone else can glean from it.

Please pray for a continued sense of need, for a sustained desire to learn and grow and be broken and remade in this place, in this time and for the rest of my life on earth, no matter how long or short it may be. I pray for those of you who are getting something out of words that are not mine. There is nothing I could ever say to make a difference in anyones life, but if God sees fit to use me to say something to another then Praise Him for it! The desire to change comes from within each of us, no amount of fancy words can make that choice for us, I pray that some reading - and those not reading - would be drawn to make that change. If there is one other thing I have been moved by, it is the assurance so many people have of the fact that God truly answers prayers. God is not distant and still, He is here, among us in the Spirit waiting for us to respond and to seek Him. He will make a difference in your life, just give Him the chance.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.”

- Philippians 1:9-11